Feb
2008

for crying out loud!

I haven’t blogged or even felt guilty about not blogging in weeks. As you can tell from my previous posts, I’ve become intrigued with Twitter; however, I haven’t really been updating that timeline either. When I’m anxious like this, I don’t spend much time online. Also, my parents came in town and I’m still juggling the job search and writing the dissertation. Needless to say, this state of flux is driving me crazy.

Not being in New Orleans for Mardi Gras again this year, not wanting to be in Tampa anymore EVER, not knowing where I will be living after July, not feeling like a good teacher lately b/c of how focused I am on the dissertation–it all stresses me out and that leads to tears. I think I’ve cried more in the 2007-2008 academic year than ever before! My husband and parents have been great and supportive, and I know things will be resolved pretty soon, but I tend to get upset more on the weekends because that’s when I realize how homesick I am for The Big Easy.

As a result, I’m starting to read more about place attachment because I feel the need to find something academic to defend my love for New Orleans. Considering my dissertation is focused on NOLA bloggers, it’s a topic that I’m passionate about, but more and more I’m having to defend my ideas to people who just don’t get why such online endeavors are important, people who would probably tell me to “get over Katrina” if they could. Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but it’s a vibe I’ve been getting for some time now, which is another reason why I’m driven to finish my dissertation. I am confident that my look at trauma studies and citizen journalism will contribute to the growing field of Katrina scholarship, and that’s no crying matter.

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10 thoughts on “for crying out loud!

  1. “Not being in New Orleans for Mardi Gras again this year, not wanting to be in Tampa anymore EVER, not knowing where I will be living after July, not feeling like a good teacher lately b/c of how focused I am on the dissertation–it all stresses me out and that leads to tears. I think I’ve cried more in the 2007-2008 academic year than ever before!”

    In academic year 2005-2006, the year I went on the market ABD, I cried constantly too; I think that’s common. Probably even without the New Orleans variable, this would be a weepy year for you. It gets better and better the more diss you write — at least that was my experience. Each chapter was a relief.

  2. I have to agree with Clancy. This is an emotional time for you anyway. Add a longing for home, and a very strong attachment to not only the place, but the issues and people of that place, and you have the ingredients for crying.

    I’m right there with you, Daisy. Really.

  3. Getting over Katrina isn’t easy for any of us especially those of us who are part of the unite that created New Orleans. Fortunately,I know that you have the capabilities to pull the dissertation together. As a citizen of a great city I feel that you can produce an outstanding dissertation based on truth and love. I also have cried more this year then I have ever cried before but I have also had the opportunity to live in the city that I love so I understand your remorse and look forward to the day that you complete your dissertation and are a member of the community again helping to make it even better then it ever was before simply because your are back home again.

  4. I so understand about the academic job search. Of course, I could just say “but you’re Rhet/Comp…you’ve got it easy…” but any academic job search stinks. It uproots you, and that feeling of uncertainty is horrible. Try to be calm, and don’t jump at the first job offer unless you really want it. (It’s great here, but I was guilty about not really thinking through the other offers when I made my suggestion…) There will always be something stressful (like finding spousal employment…!!), but continue doing what you’re doing. There will be a job offer (we had to wait two years – that’s what he gets for being a Lit major).

  5. Sorry to leave this on your comments page – I couldn’t find an email address.

    I’m going around to all the NOLA area bloggers/freelancers to let them know about our new book by a local author, the Historic Photos of New Orleans by Melissa Lee Smith. We’d love to send you a complimentary copy for possible review consideration on your blog of this book. This title is done in a large 10×10 format and all images used are culled from several archives that represent rare or never before seen photos of the Crescent City. We’re trying to get the word out to local folks, so I hope you don’t mind me dropping you a line to let you know about our books!

    You can find the author locally on a panel at the French Quarter Fest on April 12th and at Jazz Fest on May 2nd from 2-3pm in the Jazz Fest Book Tent.

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Best,
    Rachel Joiner
    Marketing Manager
    http://www.turnerpublishing.com

  6. “Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but it’s a vibe I’ve been getting for some time now, which is another reason why I’m driven to finish my dissertation.”
    -Just follow what your heart says..

  7. It happens with people who are very attached with their places. When i went to New York last year, It was first time i went out from my home. Only i know how i spent days there. But happy people are here again. 🙂 i am back to my home.

  8. The depth of your emotions are totally reasonable – don’t let anyone make you feel that you need to defend them. Our sense of self is so often tied to our sense of place. You have had what you know, what means so much to you – your sense of place ripped away. It is traumatizing and needs help to overcome.

  9. I know exactly how you feel. I live on the East Coast and my heart is in San Diego. I love that town and had lived there for a couple of years and hope to retire there. The “heart” is very fickle. It knows what it wants and you can’t fool it!

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