If any of you are on Gtalk, you’ll see that my away message all week has been “othered.” I didn’t want to blog about this because I felt if I did the people who have made me feel this way would read the blog and I’d get in trouble. Well that still may be the case but I don’t think I have to name names. I can just vent.
I think my frustration all comes down not to individual peers or professors but the fact that I’m at a large school. Yes, it has a fabulous gym and a decent library, but everyone here has so many students and responsibilities to consider, I should never expect the attention I received at my undergrad. Also, I’m so close to the dissertation stage that I can only think about that so when I am asked to write short pieces that don’t fit in with that larger project and am critiqued on that writing, I’m annoyed. When I can’t get anyone to focus on my work even when I have specific questions, I get even more pissed.
But now that I’ve talked to good friends and slept the initial hurt off, I think I am OK. My problem is trying to figure out everything at once instead of just focusing on my exams. Yes, I know the dissertation and a possible move are looming [and let’s not forget wedding plans], but for the next 36 days all I should allow myself to do is ANNOTATE and STUDY.
That’s all for now. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes for the better.